One little thing

Isn't it interesting that when you do one little thing wrong or get into one little fight or something, you feel like you can't do anything right, and your world crumbles, you call your bf or bff and bawl your eyes out thinking about all similar past events?

Its amazing how out of all the things you do in life, one little thing can ruin your day....

.

I wish I was truly amazing at something. I wish I had a knack for something.

Grandma

I am a grandma-- I cannot handle not getting 8 hours of sleep, I go to sleep relatively early for a college student, and I wake up early.

My sleep pattern has been all out of wack lately!!!

I have been waking up incredibly early (sometimes on accident, sometimes on purpose); and last night I could not fall asleep! I literally laid in bed thinking about choreography, blocking, people, scenes, etc etc etc until 3:30am!

AHHHHHHHH

AND I just came home after Sunday School and laid in bed for 30 mins trying to take a nap... fail.

Now I am eating tuna salad with father.

Hello Nikki

I have been thinking a lot lately, now that I'm on "break" about how much I devote to doing doing doing doing things that seem so good and right, and healthy, but how little time I spend seeking the Lord.

I know I have posted about this before, but I am so Martha, but do nothing about it.

Welp, I just started planning for a girls bible study I am running tomorrow morning at Tuckahoe Middle School, and I randomly thought to look through "The Divine Dance," which I have never picked up before, and I randomly turned to Chapter 10 because the Title seemed relevant, and the chapter randomly spoke to me.

Of course this is all not really random, it was totally God's hand a work. He always speaks to me in the most mysterious ways, at the most perfect times.

Here are a few quotes which really spoke to my heart:

"You have forsaken your first love." Revelation 2:4.

"Overtime, I had gotten so busy dancing for God that I had forgotten to dance with God."

"Being in a loveless relationship with God is the worst possible state because God is the designer of love. He is the Author of relationships and the only One who will love you just as you are."

"You have been dancing out of habit, forgetting what it means to delight yourself in the Lord."

"[delighting yourself in the Lord] means getting so caught up in loving God that all your desires are fulfilled in Him."

"Making God Lord of your life is a conscious choice you have to make every day."

"And when you dance for Him alone, He will clap louder than any audience you have ever heard."

Bitter

This is me being bitter with Eve because I woke up at 7:45am to Big Boy (one of our dogs) barking up a storm, and then I couldn't go back to sleep. Now I am going to attempt to return to slumber.

Why oh Why

Why am I still awake? Its 12:50am.

Oh yeah... I GET TO SLEEP IN TOMORROW!

FALL BREAK BABBBAAYYY!!! VICTORY!

scheduling

I love when God works out my schedule. This, my friends is how I manage 16 credit-hours of school, a part-time job, 3 dance classes, and GCN... I ask for God's power, and He works mysteriously to help me get all jobs done.

For instance, I was pretty far along on a paper that is due tomorrow, which I have just finished. Also, 2 professors opted out of readings for tomorrow.

I know I can't do this alone, but with the power of the Lord I can do all things! (I think I just wrote my own Bible verse... is that blasphemous?)

Wedding #2

Today was wedding number 2. It was my cousin, Kellen's wedding (my step mom's nephew), and I was a Scripture reader (big stuff, man). Unfortunately, I don't have any pics, but I being as though I really liked her dress (V-neckline, A-line, lace), I have a dream wedding dress knot pic for you!

This is not her obvi, but I really like V-necklines and Princess style dresses. I don't want anything big, or poofy, but this dress is just so elegant!

God is good, all the time.

God has a funny way of showing you He's in control.

Just when things were getting crazy and I felt like I was doing nothing right, He showed me that it's not all in my hands, it's in His.

Thank you God for being present during the ECHO service tonight and helping me realize that You're doing the work, not me.

PS

I wanna get married. I only broadcast this on Blogger, so you're special if you're reading this.

Knot pick!

Wedding #1

I am supposed to go to 3 weddings this week, although I have to miss one. Here are some pictures from Wedding #1. The decor at the reception was utter perfection. The best I can do is just show you.

In front of the entrance to reception

The car they entered in.

You put your cards in the bird cage. How clever!

This is like no even half of the really great stuff they had. I wanted to take pictures of everything, but didn't wanna seem like a stalker!

Some pics

Here are some pics from my phone I've been too lazy to upload.

This is the story of my studying/homework life. My cat is always sitting with me on the couch, without fail.

Failed attempt to take a pic at the SYTYCD live tour

Buddy!

I apologize

... for being so negative. But here goes another slightly morbid blog.

It's rather ironic because last week I spoke at Byrd Middle School's FCA, and I left feeling overwhelmed with joy. I really felt God using me and opening up doors and revealing new things to me. It was awesome. I felt successful. Right when I hopped into my car, I immediately called Jessica and told her all about it. She was very proud and excited for me, but also said something like, "Just keep your guard up because when you're working for the Kingdom of God, the Devil will try to get you."

I do believe, friends, he's trying to do just that... and I'm letting him.

Ever since I started my job as Middle School Director, I have been relatively confident (although very scared), and have felt like I've been doing a decent job. It wasn't until recently that I felt pretty crappy about my work.

Complaints

It has seemed like recently my middle schoolers have gone slightly crazy since they've return to the little red school house. Some wrecked one of the rooms during small groups, they have been wandering during services, haven't been listening during lessons, and have a terrible problem with shutting their mouths when they are supposed to. This week I have heard an overwhelming amount of complaints about the awkward teens... and something tells me its my fault. I know that sounds crazy, but I honestly feel like I'm doing something wrong.

In anything I do, I give 100%. That's not me being "cocky" or anything, its almost to a fault. I'm am compulsive about it-- about grades, work, friendships, dance, leadership, anything and everything. Because of my need/want for perfection, if something goes array, I immediately blame myself.

This is totally a rant, and props to you if you have hung in there this long. I'm just hoping this will help me get it off my chest. It's one of those things, where I know what I need to do: put it behind me and focus on bringing kids closer to Christ, I just need to vent and then maybe I can get past it.