Future Christmas

I would very much love for my house to look like this next year.

Thanks, bye.

Nikki

future dream home

I would love it if my house looked like this.

Sorry I have neglected you blog.

That's all for now, bye.

Engaged!

I'm engaged!! I cannot even believe it... I mean I knew it was coming, but it's crazy that it's official. I am so blessed to have found that special man God has had in store for me all along. It's absolutely perfect.

How he did it: He came over after Tae Kwon Do (even though he didn't actually go! little liar...) and walked in with a grocery bag full of candy that he got for my Guatemala trip. He took each out one at a time, and ended with the ring. I was SO surprised! Nothing extravagant, but he knows that if he tried anything over the top, I would totally catch on lol.

He then told me he was taking me somewhere which ended up being his house. I figured we'd have a little get together with his family and some close family friends. I opened the front door and saw the room full of my closest friends and family! Ahhh! I was so surprised! It was the perfect ending to the perfect night!

I typically get annoyed when people post so much about their life, but now I understand that they're just so excited they can't help it! Anyways, you may get a few sneak peaks of the planning here and there... we'll see!

eeeeppp!!!

this weather

is making want to curl up with a good tv marathon and some occasional Stumble Upon. SO I will do just that for the hour of free time I have. BYE.

The heart to serve.

God is developing in me a heart to serve. I have always had the heart to serve "young people," and of course I love to serve, but I have never really had the absolute yearning to serve people in need. I had a blast packing and serving food for the Harlem community on choir tour (Snack Crew '11!). Serving is SO FUN, it makes you feel great, and it truly reveals the image of Christ.

Last week, as I was driving my nephew downtown for SPARC rehearsal, I saw two drivers give homeless people money. Now, I typically never see people give money. I had the urge to give a man my bag of cheese-itz, but for lame reasons like time and the fact that I had my nephews in the car, I did not. (although we did have a convo about giving homeless people food). The whole fact is that I am seeing more and more God placing that desire in my heart.

I randomly watched an episode of Kate Plus 8 (yeah, I know, you can laugh), and they were serving the Food Bank. That place is awesome, by the way. They feed thousands of hungry people all by donations and volunteering. It was awesome to see not only Kate serving, but teaching her 8 little ones what it means to serve and how blessed they truly are. Again, God was tugging at my heart.

This seems silly, but on my way home today, while driving into the neighborhood, I was stopped by a road worker. The right lane was closed up ahead, so all drivers had to go back and enter into the other neighborhood entrance in order to get home. The man directed me, and I politely said with a smile, alright, no problem, I'll go into the other entrance. He was inspired by my positive response. He thanked me for not cussing him out, and I assured him that it's really no big deal, and I understand it was just his job. I then asked him if he needed any water since it was like 800 degrees out today, he replied "yes," so I ran to Ride-Aid to get him some waters and a Gatorade. Although this seems silly, it really felt so great to share the love of Christ with him, be a positive, joyful face, and give him some water. I just hope he remembers that for the rest of the day. While I was going into the other entrance, I saw another worker, offered him some water, he complied, and I went home, grabbed some water, and brought it back. He too was filled with gratitude. I ended both instances with "Have a blessed day," (although that seems cowardly because I should have more openly shared God's love with them... still workin' on that one.)

All this to say, I'm not trying to sound like Miss America, but it truly does feel great to bless people with the blessings God has given me. I'm pumped for CARITAS tonight!

Thank you Lord for the ability and resources to serve.

i heart

The teal/red combo.

overwhelming stress and anxiety.. often for no good reason!

I frequently freak out when I don't need to. For instance, today... We had a little dance thing at a church way out far South Side this morning, and ten minutes before leaving, I realize my precious black chord is no where to be found. SO I call John, during a minor panic attack, breathing heavily and on the verge of tears (like the show wouldn't go on without MY chord). So of course, as always, he calms me down and reassures me that we can just run to Target to buy another one. Worthless panic attack #1.

On my way home, I get a phone call from the Passport Headquarters that I do not have the right picture for my Passport (I gave them my old passport photo because the man said it was fine)... Minor freak out... Let's just say I went to CVS for the photo, got some tour shopping done, and my cousin hooked me up with overnight shipping all in a matter of 30 minutes. Worthless panic attack #2.

Also on the way home, I freaked out because I left my beloved teal travel cup at the forever far away church. John reassured me that I can find a cup like that anywhere, and he would gladly buy me another one. Worthless panic attack #3.

I wish I didn't do this so often. I shouldn't. I need to be more confident that the God who created the heavens and the earth can take care of my very miniscule problems.

With all that said, I am leaving this post with the confidence that He will help me get all of these things finished:

Classroom management plan

Additions to First Week of School lesson plans

3 Article Hand-outs

Sunday School

Youth Group

Choir Tour Devotions

Choir Tour Week Prayer List

Booklet Games

Bus Games

Packing

Please God help me get through this week. Love you.

All I want to do...

...is decorate.

I know I've said it before, but with John moving into a new house (and the perception that I will probably one day live there) I just want to decorate...

Ok, ok, I'll admit it, I went on another shopping spree today (ugh). At the end of the year Tuckahoe Middle School Bible Breakfast this morning, I received a Bed Bath and Beyond gift card... how could I resist?? Alright, so I went there.... and a few other places, but whatevs, I got some deals

My purchases:

-A kitchen mat

-"K" napkin rings (ok now that is obsessive... but they were cute and cheap!)

-two wall decorative pieces

-white sheer curtains ($4 at Ross!)

-citronella candles

Meanwhile, I dream of living in a house like this...

feeling like...

A bad student... My books have no come in, which is partially my fault because I have never taken summer school, and I was not in the right mindset to order book RIGHT after my last semester of undergrad (woop woop!). School began, and I realized I had no books. Silly me went ahead and ordered them online because they are way cheaper... I probs shoulda just sucked it up and bought them at a terrible price at the bookstore, but I didn't and now it's too late. SO I await my textbooks... So far, I've been able to get by... finding things online and snagging other people's books, BUT I feel like a delinquent. Of course this is the first time that EVERYONE has come to class prepared with their books, marked up, and annotated.. and I sit there with no book. Today I will go to Barnes and Noble and see if they have it there, so I can just sit and read what I need to for today's class. Fortunately, my much needed text book is in transit and should be here today... we hope.

i have become...

A shopoholic. John is moving in to a house with some buddies this Wednesday, and I have become obsessed with finding decor and necessities for the sweet little house. I have only settled for substantially cheap things and decor that they would actually not mind. I'm totes not trying to be annoying dressing up their house when really, they could care less. John actually likes for it to look nice and has painted and made some tables and what not, so I don't feel quite as bad.

So far I've given them a lot of stuff I already had, bought some decorative pictures, a medium sized clock, shower curtain and liner, bath mat, and some towels. It's a work in progress!

Needless to say, this summer will be filled with yard sales and thrifting.

I am officially living vicariously through John and his new house.

Pictures to come

*Sigh*

This is where I'd like to go for my honeymoon one day.... If only...

(John, you better start auditioning for some big movies or something... Come on, get goin!)

highs and lows

I frequently do "highs and lows" with my Middle Schoolers, so I'd like to present some highs and lows to you from today (and it's only 2pm)

LOW

-I can't find my passport. After the Phills I put it by the filing cabinet, and left a note for my dad to file it away. Well, the note's still there, but the passport is no where to be found. AND if I can't find it, I have to get it expidited since it's kinda late to be getting one for July. Luckily, I finally found an open appointment for tomorrow after calling 10 different post offices. But, still pray that I find it some time tonight... Let's just say I had a slight panic attack today...

-I start summer school today... 3 hour class, 3 days a week... joy. Luckily it's an education course, so it will be interesting and useful.

HIGH

I am very excited about using this stationary. It came in a pack of 50. $7 at Ross Dress for Less. SCORE!

the home stretch

ONE MORE EXAM, AND THEN I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH UNDERGRAD.

OOOOHHH YEAH!

risen from the dead

I AM ALIVE BLOGGER WORLD!

And almost done with my semester! This past month has been a whirlwind, and I am very sorry I neglected you, ever so lonely blog.

Today I turned in my Senior Seminar paper... Glory to GOD in the highest. This is the paper I have literally been working on all semester (ok, maybe not those few weeks I should've been working on it, but wasn't). I gathered some 20 sources and eventually wrote a 20 page paper. Now, I can't really complain because for college, this really isn't that big of a deal, but this thing has been looming in the back of my head for the whole semester, and now it's out of my hands! PRAISE!

OK so now I am back in action blogger world!

I should...

probably start my senior seminar paper, but I have no idea where to start... It is a 15-20 pager on an obscure, hardly known 20th-century Scottish writer, Willa Muir. English major fail.

ahh vacation

A vacation or "Spring break" isn't a break unless you go out of town. I am officially having a real break! I got into New Jersey last night at approximately 7pm. Today we are going shopping and I am getting my hair cut! Sunday we are going into the CITY and seeing Jersey Boys on Broadway followed by an amazing Italian dinner in the city. I am sooo excited! A break is much needed. I'll post details and perhaps some pics later.

yayyy

Oh my gosh craziest week ever, but it's over and I am going to sleep by 11pm!

Me trying to show my excitement, even though I'm super sleepy.

Me being a sleepy grouch.

Goodnight world! Tomorrow, it's off to teacher observation, then class, then JERSEY!

courage

In Leader Bible Study, we've been talking about having courage as leaders. This week we talked about how God doesn't just help you through things when you manipulatively ask Him to help you in certain areas, he actually works through us. No, we can't do things, but GOD can do things through us.

This really struck me as I was reflecting on my position as Middle School Director. I fully believe and know in my heart that God has called me into this position, yet I am CONSTANTLY doubting my capabilities... always comparing myself to others, thinking I am pretty much just mediocre in all areas of my job description, constantly thinking I can't deliver a strong message or make these kids love Jesus... Well that's true, I can't... but GOD can and will do those things through me because he has called me into ministry. If I don't really and truly start believing that, then He will not work because I will not be opening myself to Him.

So, here's your challenge (I'm full of those lately): Allow God to work through you. Don't doubt your own capabilities because you have Christ living inside you.

being bold

"For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ..." Philippians 1:20

Being bold for Christ is hard. When we are not being bold for Christ, we are showing him that we are ashamed in what we are living for. Yikes. That's serious! If we seriously have faith and believe that Christ died for us while we were still sinners and rose from the grave so that we could have eternal life, then we better start being bold.

So here's your challenge (as well as mine): Be bold for Christ, always. This is what we live for. This may be what we die for.

on my heart...

...is the fact that it makes me really sad when people that have grown up the church/ are hyper-involved just aren't living it. They know all the Sunday School answers, they raise their hands in worship, and they attend everything yet they leave those church doors and are clearly not striving to live for Christ in the real world. We're not called to be perfect, but to strive to imitate God. I just want these kids to yearn to love like God, forgive like God, care like God, give like God.

"Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children."

Ephesians 5:1

Echo libs

So, I have started up an "Echo Library" where kids can check out books for 3 weeks at a time. I am super stoked about it! Yeah, I know, I know I'm an English/literature/reading nerd, but it is so important for us to be reading not just the Bible (most important) but other literature that will help us grow.

We are currently doing a series on what it means to be a Christian because I honestly don't think kids have a clue/ aren't being challenged enough (not that I know EXACTLY how to be a Christian, but you get the gist). SO, that said, I'm super pumped about our mini library. A couple kids have already checked out books, and I've already gotten some hype e-mails!

It's so cool what God is doing in ECHO!

gossip

It's kinda sad when you hear things that people have "heard" about your ministry. We are supposed to be the body of Christ, working together for His glory, not stirring around gossip. Just talking about how bad things are isn't going to do anything. If something really is up, come tell me, and let's fix it (enlighten me... perhaps I'm missing something). It's sad hearing what everyone else is saying yet no one has actually approached me about it. I'm trying ya'll. Give me a break. I'm a noob.

"A gossip betrays a confidence;

so avoid a man who talks too much." Proverbs 20:19.

Avoiding gossip is really hard. Not gonna lie, this is an area where I truly struggle, often. Stopping bad behavior involves stopping what ignites that bad behavior. Maybe we should watch who we hang around. There are certainly people I gossip with more than others. The majority of those people are my great friends or people I'm close to. How do I stop hanging around them? Maybe its just a matter of avoiding possible gossipy conversation or getting out of those conversations. Or just changing the subject...

7 A fool’s mouth is his undoing,

and his lips are a snare to his soul.

8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;

they go down to a man’s inmost parts.

You don't really realize the nastiness of gossip until it is played on you. It really is so much better to be up front with people. It really does go down into your inmost parts- your heart. It pains me to think that I am failing in some aspects. It pains me to think that I may be turning future kids off from ministry.

Ok, random rant. Bye.

Content

...and I think I have the right frame of mind.

Contentment doesn't really have to mean that everything is going perfectly or you have everything figured out. I certainly don't. I am content in what the Lord is doing in my life. I have started some education classes this semester, and I am learning SO MUCH! Not only that, but I can use that info in Youth Ministry! (for instance, I've figured out why my 8th grade leadership kids have been acting out and disinterested, I've created a new ECHO library, found new ways to re-vamp my talks, figured out how kids of this technology age learn best, etc.)

It's just amazing to see how far I have come in just 1.5 years and how God is using me. I still don't have answers for exactly what I'll be doing once graduation rolls around, but I have the confidence that God will use me no matter what and as long as I'm living in Him, he will direct my path.

So, this is my contentment.

Retreat recap

I'm at school and don't have my notes, but retreat of course was much needed and very beneficial. A few "take-aways:"

-Is a life following hard after God really worth it? A question to be pondered, examined, and determined.

-While sharing the gospel, we typically get stuck at fall and redemption, but we must include everything: creation, fall, redemption, and restoration.

-Evangelism lies in our compulsion to love others. Are you compelled to love? So compelled that you will tell everyone about Christ?

-Who is the main person you would like to tell about Christ? What's stopping you?

-The gospel never changes, but the way we present it does and must.

-Don't settle saying, "oh that person just wouldn't get the Gospel." Or, "it's ok if this isn't for you." Everyone should hear about Christ and has the ability to follow hard after him.

-The Holy Spirit should be so alive and on fire in us that the love of Christ is bursting out of us.

-When the Holy Spirit is present in our lives, our sinful nature goes away. We have to allow the Holy Spirit to be alive in us.

I learned a lot more than this, but this is just what's on the top of my head right now. We need conviction daily. It helps us grow.

Thank you Tony Robinson

For suggesting this song to us... I think I've heard it before, but forgot about it. So great. I love song with simple and repetitive lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7ofQmeao9I

maybe I'm looking too much into this...

but.. I got placed for my teacher observation at Tuckahoe Middle School! I requested Henrico County, and I feel like it's soo random that I got placed there. I speak at the girls bible study once a month at Tuckahoe, and I just have this feeling that God's gonna do something really cool through me. Hopefully I will be able to see some of the girls! This is so cool!

Professor Quotes

Below lies a few interesting professor quotes from today....

New Testament Class.

"You cannot possibly think that both Luke and Mark are true because they both contradict each other in various ways."

Later followed by...

"During this course we will touch on the differences between a historical view of the Bible and a devotional one. What I hope to inspire you to do by the end of this class, if in fact you do use the Bible in a devotional way, is for you to deeply consider viewing it devotionally but also historically, finding a way to blend the two into your faith."

Reading in the Content Area Class.

"Can anyone guess what some of the most Googled words are?" (No one really gives great answers). Well, the first one is sex." (Class murmurs in response.) "It makes sense; I mean, I've googled sex before." (class giggles... this is coming from a 60 something year old woman) "I was just curious what would pop up! Of course I didn't really like what I saw..."

Senior Seminar: Scottish Literature

"One time I had to write a long research paper, and I actually put it off until the night before. Sadly, I had a really nice professor, so after I turned it in, and he gave me feedback, he said, 'Now David, this is just disappointing.' I was like awww man! I made the nice professor sad! It would've been better if he just said it was crap, but he was disappointed!"

Oh the joys, entertainment, trials, and tribulations of Liberal, Public, Education...

word to the wise

I sit reading my chapter on Technology in the Classroom while at times "reading" but not really reading... really eaves dropping on the melodramatic scene occurring on the other side of the study table, which goes as follows...

"I woke up at 7:15, fell back asleep, woke up again at 9:15, fell back asleep, and then got out of bed at 10:4... wait, was it..? yes, 10:40," she says seemingly carelessly.

This is later followed by, "Ethan, am I going to get this done? I don't think I'm going to get this done. How long do you think it'll take?"

Minutes go by which are filled with working on her calculations, chatting with the girl next door to her, continuously chatting with Ethan, and doing more calculations.

Suddenly I hear (followed by and intermingled with many cuss words), "I'm doing this all wrong! I didn't multiply it by 2. I got all these numbers wrong, Ethan!" Ethan awkwardly tries to reassure her about some statistical data I know nothing about.

I then hear a fist slam on the other side of my study table followed by a...

"I should've done this last night. Ethan, I promise I'll do this the night before, next time."

Word to the wise, do your homework the night before, not 30 minutes before it's due date.

Reading Break

Books of doom

I heart goldfish. The treat, not the animal.

salty, cheesy perfection

I actually like...

reading my education text books. NERD ALERT! And.. I'm actually kind of excited about some of my assignments... They will just take time, but should be pretty interesting and actually useful.

Rando Thought

I can't stand it when people don't delete or organize their emails. There's just a million emails sitting there in their inbox. That stresses me out.

I also can't stand it when people's bookmark menu thing on their internet page is a hot mess... each bookmark isn't re-named.. the messy url sits there wanting to be cleaner looking... there are like way too many for the menu bar... the ones running off the menu are like "help me, help me! Don't forget I exist!"

And by can't stand, I don't really mean can't stand. I really just think about how everyone is so different. Me being the most different... I have book mark folder categories, email categories for those I need to save for later viewing... I am a hyper-organizer. This can't be normal. But it's the way I live, so there!

All this to say, I really just can't stand not being able to find something.

I'm about to...

go into the first dance class I've enrolled in in 4 years... and I'm scared to death, but excited. We'll see how this goes!

Oh, and as I'm waiting for class to start, I decided to reminisce back to my glory days..

I've decided I look a lot cooler/a lot less awkward in Hip Hop pictures

Oh no you di-ehnt

What now?!

Provoc...(ative)

Right now

...I am sitting at Starbucks waiting to go to campus... I was an idiot. I for some reason looked at the dates wrong and thought I was speaking at Tuckahoe Bible Study this morning, but really it's next week... and today just so happens to be the busiest day ever. I could've used that extra 3 hours of sleep, but NO I had to be dumb.

BUT then I remember that everything happens for a reason... I was planning on getting my flu shot today since I would have some time in between the talk and my class... It seems as though right now that stomach bug is going around again, so I'm guessing it's perfect timing for me to get the shot. I'm also assuming that if I hadn't planned on speaking today I wouldn't have scheduled my shot, SO I'm trying to keep my head up. This is all in the plan, and I will NOT be bitter about getting up at the crack o dawn (I don't know how I did that every morning for 4 years in high school!!) for no reason.

I would take a pic, but I'm nervous, so I won't.

Ringing through my ears

‎"I am leaving you with a gift- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." -Jesus

At a time like this- When I'm looking ahead at this crazy semester. Pencilling in tests, journal entries, papers, and projects. Making decisions about what to commit to. Looking at what needs to be done and what will need to be done in terms of Youth Ministry and dance and school and applications...

...I need the soft whisper of Jesus to remind me that he offers me peace in this crazy, hectic world with to-do's, check-lists, expectations, and perfection.

School is...

going to kick my butt this semester...

-My New Testament professor said that he, in fact, is biased and disagrees with anything "evangelical" or "conservative" or "devotional," and that he should be transparent about that while also respecting his students' opinions... hmm...

-My education classes grade like high school... A's are 93-100, and so on. Awesome.

-I will have to make several lesson plans and do group projects/presentations.

-I will be doing teaching observations weekly.

-My senior seminar professor said we would be doing more work than he does in class. Also, I will be spending the entire semester preparing for my treacherous 15-20 page paper on some aspect of Scottish Literature... oh so exciting!

Mixed Emotions

Tomorrow is the first day of my last semester of Undergrad... and I have mixed emotions

Kinda just bitter that I have to go back to school

Nervous Excited

Pleased to get back into a regular schedule

What I will probably be like when I really get into my education classes

Nervous

School

I get all pumped to go totally OCD when school starts back up..

-I write down my schedule with room number, subject, and professor on a tiny sheet of paper which I place perfectly inside the cover of my planner.

-I go and find all my classes and organize each of my fresh syllabi into my neat 5-subject binder.

-I write with a crisp Sharpie the name of my classes on my reusable folders...

-I write my exam, project, paper dates into that previously mentioned planner.

-I be sure to obtain all books not previously posted on the Bookstore website (dang those professors... messing up my hyper-preparedness.)

Then after a few weeks... it's just not as exciting anymore. Bah humbug.

I'm tired of saying goodbye and goodnight. Lord help me be patient. I know I have my whole life to spend with him, so I can wait a year or so. I can wait. I can wait.

I enjoy

...hanging out with adolescents . That's all. bye.

The Dryer

Oh how I hate you, dryer. You make my tops skanky, you prevent me from pulling up my jeans past my knees, you make my new underwear into permanent wedgies, and you destroy my memories of the past by forcing me to throw away great pieces.

BUT you do make my other clothes all nice and toasty...

This New Year...

The Lord is teaching me the importance of silence.

"Be still and know I am God."

schedge return

Trying to get back to going to sleep relatively early. Good luck to me.

Sleeping with the kitty

Wide awake!

Just a thought, not a sermon

It's more fun to get hyper off of Cuban coffee than it is to be totally out of control of your body getting shwasted on New Years.