I have not been diagnosed, because well, they don't really have up front diagnoses and it really isn't a harmful disorder, but I'm pretty certain I have Trichotillomania: a type of psychological condition that involves strong urges to pull out one's own hair.
Ever since my Junior year of High School I have been pulling out my eyelashes and eyebrows. Within the past year, I have been researching it to see the prevalence and try to find ways to stop. They do not have medicine for it, and doctors have not discovered much research on it mainly because of its rarity and it's not really a life-threatening problem. Most doctors have theorized that it is a compulsive behavior.
For me, it is linked with OCD. It has become almost ritualistic and is very repetitive. It's really hard for people to understand. They don't get that I really do want to stop, its just soo hard! Poor John, bless his heart. He just wants the best for me and tries to get me to stop, but it just frustrates me whenever he slaps my hand or yells at me to stop. It just doesn't really help!
I'm blogging about this now because usually its not as bad during the summer, so I'm hoping to eternally turn a new leaf. Its normally the worst when I'm stressing out about school, sitting doing homework for long periods of time. In my research, I've realized that the majority of people dealing with this do the same. It also goes hand in hand with my perfectionist problems. They say the best way to try and stop is to try to manipulate the behavior that leads to the pulling. Its just kinda hard to try to not sit and do homework for hours. I mean come on!
Anyways, I'm just hoping that it will get better during the summer. It really affects my self-esteem, and I get embarrassed that my eyebrows are always a hot mess and my eyelashes are non-existent! Just be praying, I guess?
3 comments:
my dearest nikki,
i shall be praying for you. i hate to think that something as difficult as this to control is lowering your self esteem :( those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind. i love you!!! always ALWAYS always :)
you are so sweet and i totally get what you're saying about it being like a compulsive and embarassing kind of thing. it sounds gross and common but i chew on my sking around my fingernails. i just always have and sometimes they get gross the the point where like they're dried out extensively and like bleed. it's awful. it's a hard thing to stop though. i know i can't say that i have the same problem girlie but i know how it feels to have like something like that that shows on the outside, but i think you're BEAUTIFUL! and you can only do what you want and are able to do through God. i'll be praying for you babby girll :)
Have you ever tried getting a small stuffed animal or a "troll" doll that has real-feeling hair? When you're studying, maybe you could pull out one of the hairs every time you want to pull out your own. When the stuffed animal is bald.....go get another one. May be worth a try?
Post a Comment