Hair Creation

This is my new hair style creation: Side french braid into a center french braid. Holler.

No Commitments?

I'm having a hard time settling down. This week has gone by soo slow! I feel like a little kid again; I just want Christmas to be here. I have been so used to running a mile a minute that now that I don't have fully packed schedules, I'm anxious. All my shopping and wrapping is done... What am I going to do today after I meet Steph for lunch?? And tomorrow before I go to a Christmas Eve service?? I guess we shall see...

AND it may snow my Jersey trip out.. Then I will be stuck at my house for 3 or so days! AHHH!

FREE!!

I'M DONE WITH MY EXAMS!!

And here is evidence of my excitement.

YAY!

VICTORY!

la cucaraCHA! lacucaraCHA!

THERE IS A GOD!

I GET TO GO ON A DATE WITH JOHN TONIGHT...

Friend Fail

With all the craziness and business of school, work, and GCN, I feel like I've been a total friend fail. Even though the holidays are always crazy, I am glad to spend time with groups of friends, and I am so looking forward to reconnecting with my long lost buddies during January, when things slow down a bit.

I have always tried to be sure to stay connected with girlfriends even when having a boyfriend, and I have not been able to do that lately. I really don't like it, not one bit. I was talking to Jackie Kelly the other day, and she said, "[Your boyfriend/husband] will never be one of your girl friends." It's so true. As much as I love John and love to spend time with him, he will forever be a guy- unorganized, unemotional, anti-planning guy. I need my girls in my life!

So, hopefully my friends will forgive me for being a friend fail and embrace my reentrance into the social world.

sigh of relief

GCN is over. Don't get me wrong, I had fun, but I am quite relieved.

Yesterday I spent the whole day with my long lost bf, John Kelly. As we were running through Macy's with Starbucks in hand, my heart fluttered a bit... I was just really happy. While rounding the corner to hop on the escalator I blurted out, "I just feel so happy inside." He replied with that cute little half smile, "What? Why?" I bashfully answer (I am not one to exude my emotions), "I just love shopping/being with you." It's literally one of my favorite things to do with John. We shopped for approximately 5 hours... It felt like 30 minutes.

Ok my gush is over now. Back to studying. bye bye.

I have to admit, I'm in a, "I can't wait to be married," mood.

Tangents

I am in the library waiting to go do some writing consultations in the writing center (last time of the semester... praise). Basically, I just help people with their writing... develop ideas, figure out claims, tell them what doesn't make sense to the reader, and so on (it is not a grammar correction facility). It was a requirement for a class. I don't hate it, but with everything else I have going on, I could care less about it. So, therefore, I am happy to be reaching the end of my writing center career (although I will be doing far more "consultations" in the future...)

It's really great when your hard work doesn't go unnoticed. Pastor Hershman told me today how great of a job I'm doing... Since I'm up with the youth, I never really think anyone sees my work, but apparently people have noticed? He said he's heard that from a lot of people. It made me smile. Also, Bob Laughlin mentioned my hard work in leadership... I love working in an environment of encouragement!

Ok, off to my appointments (bah humbug... I may fall asleep)

motivation=zero

I had every intention of coming home tonight and reading and writing my journal entry for class, but instead I got stuck on Facebook pictures, new profile layouts, and Blogger.

I have had zero school motivation for the past 2 weeks. I want winter break now.

Eventually

I am really excited to decorate for Christmas in my own little humble abode sometime down the road. Wish I could show you some pics of our house decor, but I am 1. to lazy to get my camera and 2. don't have time to take pics and such... I love how I have to do a ton of reading for a class tomorrow, but I just finally finished my 7 page paper and am now blog and Facebook stalking.. lovely.

11

I WOKE UP AT 11AM! YES!!

I am thankful for...

-My loving God and His sacrifice to an undeserved child.

-My selfless, noble, and heroic father who works way too hard.

-My rather twisted family- parents, steps, siblings, relatives and all

-My amazing boyfriend who treats me like a princess and provides that stability I've always needed. He's forgiving, loving, selfless, and not only loves Christ, but imitates Him.

-His incredible family. I can't say enough about them and how thankful I am for welcoming me into their home... those home cooked meals, that guest bedroom they make me stay in because they don't like me driving late at night, those heart-to-heart girl talks, making me laugh, making me feel loved. I could go on, but I'll stop.

-My job. Praise God for having a job. Thank you God for directing my path and allowing me to minister to young people.

-Friends. Ya'll keep me sane. Thank you for loving and caring about me and being there for me when I have needed it most. Thank you for understanding me and giving me grace. Thank you for bringing me up when I am down and (Rebs, Steph, Heather, Kelly, and Annie) bringing me coffee and treats when I need them most :)

-And the basics... a home, food, clothing, car, all life's necessities...

I have nothing to complain about. I am infinitely blessed. Praise God.

Trust, trust, trust

Ever since I got this job at Middle School Director, I have wondered what the Lord will have in store for me in 2 years. Plans have changed drastically ever since my "Musical Theatre" stage during my sophomore year in high school, so I have to be open and ready for even more changes.

2 weeks ago I was told that I was supposed to take a particular teacher test (VCLA), and my advisor was surprised I was admitted into the Masters of Teaching program without taking it... I'm still not sure I had to take it because clearly I was never told, and obviously I still got into the program without taking it. Needless to say, I freaked out (being the planner and over-organizer that I am), and registered for the test ASAP.

Today I attempted to register for Spring Semester classes, when I stumbled upon a bump in the road- a HOLD. I hate the word. I have checked numerous times the past couple of weeks to make sure everything was good and paid for before registration, and of course NOW I have a HOLD-- "UG Admissions NOT Finalized..." WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN?!

Cue the mini freak out. AHHH!?!?!

I double check all tuition payments- pay a random payment, no help. I call the admissions office, left a message, no help. So now I wait. If phone calls don't work, I'll go into the office and figure all of this out tomorrow.

Back to my over-arching point- thesis, if you will.

For the past few months I have made the decision that the Lord will close doors if my plan is not necessarily his plan. Although this waiting business is frustrating, whatever happens is in His plan. A large majority of our faith is just that. Faith. I absolutely have to trust God and remember that its not in my control. He knows best, and He's got it all under control.

"A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

Knot Pick Hair

After waking up at 7:15 am, due to my internal clock of doom, I have opted out of studying and decided to grab a cup of coffee, turn on America's Next Top Model, and look at TheKnot.com.

Topic for today: Hair. Here are some Knot Picks!

I'm pretty set on having my hair down with loose curls.

Not sure how I feel about hair pieces. Sometimes I dig it, sometimes not so much

Gotta love the braid!

PS- I promise I'm not a crazy wannabe bride who plans every detail of her wedding before she actually has it. I just love weddings! he he he

"Going Out"

I am starting to think that John and I's relationship is turning into High School "going-out" status... We don't actually "go-out;" we just see each other at school and church. We bid each other adieu to eventually see each other again later the next day at a rehearsal or youth function. During the weekends, we hang out with his family (who I love, so I'm certainly not complaining) until we run our separate ways to various rehearsals where we barely even look at each other.

When will we ever actually "date" again?!?! I was planning on this weekend, but word of mouth has told me that a TBA will be called Saturday night. Lovely. Why am I so surprised at this lack of a social life? I mean, it IS GCN season...

I miss times like these. Dressing fancy and eating fancy.

I wonder...

...if its ok that GCN stresses all us young choreographers out. It has its pros and cons, but choreographing has not proved itself a big pro. I'm pretty sure each of us as come inches away from break down and tears. Its different than simply choreographing, say, a hip hop dance for a recital. You have a vision in your head, and then everything changes with the addition of staging, other cast members, and props. Not only that, but you are choreographing about five different dance groups for the same song while remembering your own steps. OMG.

Everyone looks to you for the answers. Everyone looks to you for a solution. Everyone looks at your work and judges it (whether they tell you or not). Everyone talks about you behind your back (whether good or bad). You are the center of focus. AHH! That scares me. I like to be out of focus, just listening in the background. This is why I don't speak in class (but that's besides the point).

I'm not a process person. I look towards the end goal with everything. Sometimes this can be a good thing, but at a time like this, it most certainly isn't. I just want everything to come together perfectly- for everything to work, for no one to have to ask me 100 questions (that I usually don't know the answer to), for no one to have to judge my work because it looks a hot mess right now as people are adjusting to new formations, blocking, other dancers... I'm not a process person. I can't wait until things start magically coming together.

Ok, maybe I'm being melodramatic. I apologize, but right now, after a 3.5 hour rehearsal, my brain is about to explode.

And... I promise, there are good things about choreographing, I'm just a little winded right now. If you are in GCN, don't think I hate you.

Middle School Pros

I love middle schoolers because they have no shame. They dance around like no one's watching. Maybe that's because they see me doing it, but still. They make a fool out of themselves right along side of me rather than just standing back and looking at me as if I am a fool (which I am). They love it, and I love it. Bye.

I'm pretty sure I will continue to have ups and downs forever and will always be in limbo on whether or not I want to teach or preach... or not. But I have complete and utter faith that God will reveal his plan for my life as he has done in times past.

me today

Wishing I was tan and missing my Young Life days.

Very sleepy. Also very good evidence as to why I wish I was tan... Pasty white vamp.

One little thing

Isn't it interesting that when you do one little thing wrong or get into one little fight or something, you feel like you can't do anything right, and your world crumbles, you call your bf or bff and bawl your eyes out thinking about all similar past events?

Its amazing how out of all the things you do in life, one little thing can ruin your day....

.

I wish I was truly amazing at something. I wish I had a knack for something.

Grandma

I am a grandma-- I cannot handle not getting 8 hours of sleep, I go to sleep relatively early for a college student, and I wake up early.

My sleep pattern has been all out of wack lately!!!

I have been waking up incredibly early (sometimes on accident, sometimes on purpose); and last night I could not fall asleep! I literally laid in bed thinking about choreography, blocking, people, scenes, etc etc etc until 3:30am!

AHHHHHHHH

AND I just came home after Sunday School and laid in bed for 30 mins trying to take a nap... fail.

Now I am eating tuna salad with father.

Hello Nikki

I have been thinking a lot lately, now that I'm on "break" about how much I devote to doing doing doing doing things that seem so good and right, and healthy, but how little time I spend seeking the Lord.

I know I have posted about this before, but I am so Martha, but do nothing about it.

Welp, I just started planning for a girls bible study I am running tomorrow morning at Tuckahoe Middle School, and I randomly thought to look through "The Divine Dance," which I have never picked up before, and I randomly turned to Chapter 10 because the Title seemed relevant, and the chapter randomly spoke to me.

Of course this is all not really random, it was totally God's hand a work. He always speaks to me in the most mysterious ways, at the most perfect times.

Here are a few quotes which really spoke to my heart:

"You have forsaken your first love." Revelation 2:4.

"Overtime, I had gotten so busy dancing for God that I had forgotten to dance with God."

"Being in a loveless relationship with God is the worst possible state because God is the designer of love. He is the Author of relationships and the only One who will love you just as you are."

"You have been dancing out of habit, forgetting what it means to delight yourself in the Lord."

"[delighting yourself in the Lord] means getting so caught up in loving God that all your desires are fulfilled in Him."

"Making God Lord of your life is a conscious choice you have to make every day."

"And when you dance for Him alone, He will clap louder than any audience you have ever heard."

Bitter

This is me being bitter with Eve because I woke up at 7:45am to Big Boy (one of our dogs) barking up a storm, and then I couldn't go back to sleep. Now I am going to attempt to return to slumber.

Why oh Why

Why am I still awake? Its 12:50am.

Oh yeah... I GET TO SLEEP IN TOMORROW!

FALL BREAK BABBBAAYYY!!! VICTORY!

scheduling

I love when God works out my schedule. This, my friends is how I manage 16 credit-hours of school, a part-time job, 3 dance classes, and GCN... I ask for God's power, and He works mysteriously to help me get all jobs done.

For instance, I was pretty far along on a paper that is due tomorrow, which I have just finished. Also, 2 professors opted out of readings for tomorrow.

I know I can't do this alone, but with the power of the Lord I can do all things! (I think I just wrote my own Bible verse... is that blasphemous?)

Wedding #2

Today was wedding number 2. It was my cousin, Kellen's wedding (my step mom's nephew), and I was a Scripture reader (big stuff, man). Unfortunately, I don't have any pics, but I being as though I really liked her dress (V-neckline, A-line, lace), I have a dream wedding dress knot pic for you!

This is not her obvi, but I really like V-necklines and Princess style dresses. I don't want anything big, or poofy, but this dress is just so elegant!

God is good, all the time.

God has a funny way of showing you He's in control.

Just when things were getting crazy and I felt like I was doing nothing right, He showed me that it's not all in my hands, it's in His.

Thank you God for being present during the ECHO service tonight and helping me realize that You're doing the work, not me.

PS

I wanna get married. I only broadcast this on Blogger, so you're special if you're reading this.

Knot pick!

Wedding #1

I am supposed to go to 3 weddings this week, although I have to miss one. Here are some pictures from Wedding #1. The decor at the reception was utter perfection. The best I can do is just show you.

In front of the entrance to reception

The car they entered in.

You put your cards in the bird cage. How clever!

This is like no even half of the really great stuff they had. I wanted to take pictures of everything, but didn't wanna seem like a stalker!

Some pics

Here are some pics from my phone I've been too lazy to upload.

This is the story of my studying/homework life. My cat is always sitting with me on the couch, without fail.

Failed attempt to take a pic at the SYTYCD live tour

Buddy!

I apologize

... for being so negative. But here goes another slightly morbid blog.

It's rather ironic because last week I spoke at Byrd Middle School's FCA, and I left feeling overwhelmed with joy. I really felt God using me and opening up doors and revealing new things to me. It was awesome. I felt successful. Right when I hopped into my car, I immediately called Jessica and told her all about it. She was very proud and excited for me, but also said something like, "Just keep your guard up because when you're working for the Kingdom of God, the Devil will try to get you."

I do believe, friends, he's trying to do just that... and I'm letting him.

Ever since I started my job as Middle School Director, I have been relatively confident (although very scared), and have felt like I've been doing a decent job. It wasn't until recently that I felt pretty crappy about my work.

Complaints

It has seemed like recently my middle schoolers have gone slightly crazy since they've return to the little red school house. Some wrecked one of the rooms during small groups, they have been wandering during services, haven't been listening during lessons, and have a terrible problem with shutting their mouths when they are supposed to. This week I have heard an overwhelming amount of complaints about the awkward teens... and something tells me its my fault. I know that sounds crazy, but I honestly feel like I'm doing something wrong.

In anything I do, I give 100%. That's not me being "cocky" or anything, its almost to a fault. I'm am compulsive about it-- about grades, work, friendships, dance, leadership, anything and everything. Because of my need/want for perfection, if something goes array, I immediately blame myself.

This is totally a rant, and props to you if you have hung in there this long. I'm just hoping this will help me get it off my chest. It's one of those things, where I know what I need to do: put it behind me and focus on bringing kids closer to Christ, I just need to vent and then maybe I can get past it.

Jumbled Thoughts.. Shocker

I know you are completely shocked, I am about to blog random thoughts I have had recently... (Can you sense the sarcasm?)

• Being on display: Now that I am on staff at a church, I am constantly aware of my every move. This is because I am literally on display for everyone to see. Not only do I want to prevent any conflict on the basis of my behavior, but I also want to be (and look like) a good influence for kids who feel like its hard to be a Christian in today's society. I hope to show them that you can still be cool and normal and be a Christian! We are not called to perfection though. What made me think of this a lot lately was....
• Glee: I love glee. I wouldn't go as far as to call myself a Gleek because I haven't been great at keeping up with it, but I do think its an entertaining show. Last night I posted on Facebook "I will not forget about Glee tonight." Well, I watched the show, and the episode was the most inappropriate one I have seen yet. Personally, watching something like this doesn't really influence me or make me change my lifestyle, but I got to thinking, what if people see that I posted that, and think that its bad that I watch this show? Also, while watching the episode I was thinking to myself, would I/should I be ok with my kids watching this? A lot of them love it, but last night's episode (while still very entertaining with amazing music) was highly inappropriate, and could send our kids a bad message/influence them. In contrast, next week is supposed to be about Jesus? or something like that... probably more about spirituality. So, it has its ups and downs I guess.
• Lifestyle and leadership: In order to be a spiritual leader, you are not expected to be perfect, but put at a higher standard. I have been thinking a lot about lifestyles vs. slip ups. Its one thing if a leader messes up every now and then (we all do!) but then recognizes it and is clearly striving to do better, but its another when the sin they are living in is a lifestyle-- it happens frequently and it doesn't seem as though they are taking any precautions. This is not ok. Leaders should be held to a higher standard.

That's about it, thanks for tuning in!

Class of Doom

Can we just talk about how ridiculous my SOC 101 class is.

1. It is a 101 class... it should NOT be that difficult.

2. It's a lecture plus lab class. BUT WAIT, THAT'S NOT ALL...

3. On top of going to a pointless lecture every week with 300 other students all of whom have no clue what the guy is saying because he never stands near enough to the microphone and literally talks in circles, we have to ALSO listen to online lectures. Not just one for every week, no, like 3 for every week! These things are like 30 mins each, give or take a few!

4. Then of course, there is lab. Lab is not bad at all, its just that our TA is teaching it, and he is basically just teaching us whatever he wants to teach us-- not necessarily stuff we will be tested on.

5. For the test I have coming up next week, we have to have studied chapters 1-6. Studying consists of reading all the chapters (written by the marvelous Mr. Professor himself), remembering the content, studying our lecture "notes," and studying our online lecture notes.

JUST SPLENDID!

Ok, I feel better now... Thanks

Change

In my writing and process class we're learning about the "Grammar B" style. Basically, going against everything you learned about grammar and mechanics and writing freely. We had to do an exercise: Write 500 words about change using Grammar B and then present it to the class. Pretty broad right? Here's what I wrote. Read if you please.

Change. Photosynthesis, growth, nutrients, clean house, vacuuming, laundry, adolescence, old-age, inspections, tune-ups, check-ups, mark-ups, showers, hair-dye, tanning, seasons, summer, fall, winter, spring, new places, college, clubs, church, relationships, fellowship, communities, spiritual maturity, renewal, renewal in Christ. Everything must be renewed. Everything changes. When I think of change, I think of my relationship with Christ. I once was lost, and now I’m found. I once wandered as a lost child, and then directed on the right path- the path of righteousness. I changed. But how? My thoughts were no longer of this world, but of Christ. Directed towards eternity. Even in my faith, I was like a child. Questioning everything, still unsure. That has not quite changed. Wait, that shouldn’t change. What did, was my intimate relationship with my savior. What started as a simple thought morphed into a way of life. One time, just a name: Christian. I’m a Christian. I go to Christian-like events. I act one way at church and another at home or school. Change. High school. Act more like a Christian (right?). Be different. Why? Because it’s the right thing to do. It’s what we’re preached. Just hang out with Christian friends. You’ll act more like ‘em. Go to church, go on retreat, go to small groups, go to Sunday school, go to choir practice, sing in the worship band. Do, do, do, do, do. Do good things. Right things, positive things, influential things. This will make you a better person. Change. College. Make it your own. Christ is my center. I do good because I love Christ. I love Christ because he died for me. (While I am still a sinner, Christ died for me). My relationship is renewed. Change. No longer do because others are, because others tell me to, because it feels good. NO. Do because Christ lives in me and I desire to be more like him. I am renewed in Christ. Change. Leadership. Thoughts not only forced onto self, but onto others. Love for others. Why? Who cares about others if its your own salvation you really care about. You’re not going to hell, so who cares about others? NO. Love others because God loves others. Because he has implanted the fruit of the spirit- love in you. Because he calls us to make disciples of all nations. All nations. Strive to change others. Bring about change in others. Change others. Spark in them a desire for renewal. Non-believers, believers, children, youth, adults. Everything changes. Plants, animals, houses, cars, people, machinery, toys, possessions. All change. We need renewal. The Holy Spirit provides spiritual renewal. Renew in Christ. Change. Continue to change. Never be content in faith. Challenge, question, seek, and find. Spend more time in the word, more time with God, more time in conversation, more time in prayer. Learn to love God more and more, abide by his commands, love others. Change from the inside, out. Be renewed, replenished, nourished, nurtured, fed, transformed by the renewing of your mind. Put on a new nature. The old is gone, the new has come. This is what we were made for.

Ironic we're to write about change when I've been thinking about change for the past at least month. I will be reading this allowed to the class. Pray for no product anxiety!

Girls vs. Guys

So last night Mrs. Kelly, Jackie and I were hanging out together attempting to put in "The Last Song" to watch. It was hilarious because we got to talking, and ended up just sitting there chatting until about 10:45pm with the menu on and "The Last Song" theme song playing over and over.

Throughout our convos we realized that guys would NEVER do something like this.

1. They would never watch a chick flick (even though we girls sit through action-packed movies all the time)

2. They would never sit there and chat before starting the movie

3. The second that theme song repeated one time, they would have turned it off or stopped talking, but we let it roll loud over and over again

4. They never analyze things the way we do. In pretty much every topic we touched, we analyzed the situations

It is quite interesting how girls and guys work. I've been thinking a lot about that lately- especially about how terrible guys are at planning. We girl think long long term and we focus on the details while guys are totally just in the moment. They have no clue about scheduling or making sure people are in the know about things. Its pretty amazing that the majority of CEOs or high up business people are men. Oh wait, that's because they have women assistants who keep them straight. (Ok, that's about as feminist as I get).

Ok bye bye.

So Awk

So.. I think I have come to the conclusion that I am awkward around high schoolers.

I think I just try way to hard to be cool and relevant that I end up not being myself, and I think I would be a lot less socially awkward if I was just myself (...even though myself is quite awkward, but in a funny way? hard to explain, so I won't try)

This is why I love middle schoolers. I don't have to try; at least, I don't feel like I have to. It doesn't matter if I really am cool, they will still think I'm cool just because I'm older (right?). Even if they do think I'm a total dweeb, they will still love me and laugh at my terrible jokes, impersonations, immaturity.

Funny I should feel so inspired to post this. I was just talking to one of my friends about how awesome middle schoolers are. They are moldable, they understand what you're talking about, but aren't old enough yet to have a solid opinion on it, they are free-spirited (one of my youth was showing me pics on her phone-- totally irrelevant to anything, but she loved it... and so did I), and they just want to have fun (I love the fact that they will dance during worship and act like fools.. mainly because I quite enjoy doing the same).

There's my rant. Hope you loved it.

Exhausted

Must get energy, must get energy!

I'm so glad God got be through the weekend and that he was totally present at retreat; We serve a powerful God!

But now I'm absolutely wiped. Yesterday I was literally fatigued, but attempted to get 10 hours of sleep until Jess was up from 4:30am on walking around upstairs (I'm in the basement).

Having just gotten home from a full school day and then some errands, I would so love to just curl up and go to sleep. But homework and other priorities bid me not.

So long blogger world, time to attempt productivity.

Down and Out

So I have to confess, today was a blah day.

Now that I'm in a leadership position I feel like I'm not allowed to have bad days or to vent to people. I feel like I am so consumed with lifting others up and giving them advice (which I love, don't get me wrong) that I am not allowed to have an off day. I found myself wining to John while replaying in my head the things I would tell a girl that may be going through the same situation as me.

Anyways, I just feel icky. My head hurts, my sinuses are swelling, and the back of my throat hurts. I'm tired (even though I got 9.5 hrs of sleep), I'm stressed, I'm unsatisfied, I'm about to start my period, and I'm just really bummed about a few things.

I was on the phone with John after call-back fail (got there too late bc of Bible Study to actually read anything), and I just hung up on him. I was being very negative and mopey and after trying to help me a lot with no good results, he told me to call him back when I was in a better mood, and I hung up on him. I feel bad about that.

There, I said it. I got it off my chest. Don't judge.

I am making a pact...

with myself and any of you who read my blog that I will from this day forward...

START EATING BETTER.

You don't know how many times I've said that, and I never do. So, I figured if I feel like I am being held accountable or that I have to do it to make someone else happy (even if you could care less, which you probably don't), then I may do it.

This is not because I think I am over-weight or anything like that, don't jump to conclusions. I just know that I really need to take better care of my body and such.

So, from this day forth, I shall document some of my eating habits. If I slip up, I will confess. If I have a creative, good day, I will document.

I live for pressure. I think this may actually help.

GOODBYE BURGER KING, ICE CREAM, SODA, AND FRAPS (ok maybe not completely fraps)!

Holiday Fail

On my one day off in a while and for a while, I am consumed with readings, readings, and more readings on top of preparing my talk for Wednesday and working on retreat lessons...

To make things even better, its absolutely gorgeous outside.

What a lovely day... NOT!

Energy?

I feel revived and energized, and it's all from God; I just know it. :)

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything."- Philippians 4:6

A Happy Heart

I had a really chaotic time trying to get into campus today for my 50 minute class after a few hours in the office. I got to the 300-person class and was utterly confused by the teacher and the course (too many boring details to explain)... We got out a little early, and as I walked to my car, I heard a young-woman's voice over a very loud speaker talking about the love of Christ.

I am so used to hearing annoying "preachers" on campus who don't convey complete truth about Jesus and just point out everyone's sins. Nothing gets across! This girl was actually talking about the LOVE OF CHRIST and his redemptive power. It was genuine, real, and true, and I loved it.

As if I have time in my day to sit and listen to someone speak, I followed the voice anyways and listened to her and then her band play "How he Loves." This was smack dab in the middle of the Plaza at VCU, mind you. The Gospel message was being proclaimed in the middle of a very lost University and the words "Oh How He Loves Us" were reverberating off the multi-story buildings, down the busy streets, and into the ears of lost souls. There's lots more I could say about how happy this made me, but I'll stop there. It was awesome.

Housewife Win!

I made Deviled eggs people! This is a huge step for me being as though this was literally the first thing (except for tuna salad and pasta, etc but those don't count- too easy) that I made, by myself, with a recipe and all! I LOVE deviled eggs, and I wanted to learn how to hard-boil an egg anyways, so I thought, "Why not make a delicious treat?!" Here's the finished product! And they didn't taste too too bad either!

I got Nothin'

It's the 100th post!!!

Aaaanndd... this is quite anti-climactic

I wish I had something profound to write, but really all I'm doing today is homework and possibly hanging out with friends later. Just trying to enjoy the last bit of semi-freedom I have before my life gets absolutely chaotic.

Oh! I have a canker sore of doom in the inside of my left cheek. I get them relatively often, but I have never had one this massive. That thing is slightly smaller than a dime and has a huge crater in the center. My left cheek is swollen as well. It hurts to talk, to eat, to live... I feel like a baby. waahh

Awkward First Days

Nikki

proudly

presents....

Awkward First Day Moments:

1. Parking: The Great Navigation told me to turn left into my parking lot... Well, left happened to be a huge parking deck. I was slightly skeptical, but chose to trust the small gadget. And... he failed me, epically. The gate would not open to my ID card, and police officers had to stop oncoming traffic so I could back up and go across the street to my desired location.

2. Introductions: I absolutely hate first day of class personal introductions. In one of my classes, the professor told us to introduce ourselves and tell the class a favorite song lyric or a quote from a movie-- something that was stuck in our head. Unfortunately, all I could think about was "Find Your Love" by Drake because it was on the radio on the way over. So, I proceeded to sing the chorus for the class. I got extra points for actually singing, so I guess that's worth something.

3. Directions: One of my classes was locked. Of course I got there early, so no one else was around... I lingered for a bit, went to the rest room, then plopped down next to a stranger to wait around. I was certain it was my class. Luckily, eventually the teacher showed with some sort of sliding card that served as a key... Intriguing

4. Packed Lunch: I usually pack my lunch to save money and attempt to be semi healthy. This morning I packed tuna salad in Tupperware. Well, it just so happened the Tupperware had a crack in it. Marvelous. Smelly tuna went all over my lunch bag and the rest of my food. Lovely, just how I wanted to start off the school year!

5. People: It's just always awkward when you have people in your classes that have been in previous classes with you and your not sure if you should initiate convo, ignore, sit with them, or just smile... always an awkward sitch.

6. Errands: The Financial Aid center moved to another building. I had to turn in a form. Needless to say, it was just an awkward trip. Lots of lines, different stations, tons of people... It was pretty obvious I was utterly confused all around.

7. More Locked Doors: I have a class in this new academic center; I went to the first door I saw, and it was locked. This may not seem like a big deal, but its just kinda embarrassing when someone is standing RIGHT next to the door and doesn't warn you or anything, just kinda smirks at your idiocy.

So there are my awkward moments of the first day of school. Did you have any??... Its inevitable.

Schedge

Today is officially the last day of summer. Goodbye lazy afternoons, sun and water, spontaneous late night hang-outs, organization, Bdubs and Dolla Dolla Burger Night...

Hello structured schedules, adrenaline, business, homework, new programs, new ideas...

.....I'm oddly looking forward to you school year.

Repunzle

I want long hair again. I'm just in that wishful thinking phase.

"College"

I keep seeing all my friends' statuses and they kinda make me miss real college.

All of them say "Senior Year!" I keep forgetting I'm going to be a senior... probably because I still have an extra year for Masters, but really I think it's mainly because I'm not in real college. Ok, I go to a really great university, but I'm not living on campus or in an apartment or anything, so it doesn't really feel like it.

This is not to say that I wouldn't rather be where I'm at right now in life than away at school; I just get in weird phases.

BYE

Camping 101

Although I have been camping a decent number of times, I don't think you ever realize the extent of what's needed and necessary for a camping trip until you actually head on up.

I have to say, it was my first one, and it didn't go over toooooo bad. There were only a few minor details that will be changed in the future, of course.

Overall, it twas a success. 8th grade camping trip '10 OUT.

Apts

I'm obsessed with looking at apartments, comparing prices, looking at pictures and floorplans, amenities, etc.... even though I still have 2 more years....

Let's just call it wishful thinking.

Sense of Humor

Jesus has a sense of humor.

I sat down to read over a devotional Missy and I are doing together, and it just happened to be comparing Mary and Martha. It's ironic because I just made a post that was sooo Martha. God reminded me to stop doing, doing, doing, and just be still and listen at the feet of Jesus.

Random Thoughts

Here are some things I am realizing more and more about myself.

1. I'm impatient. When I am set on a task, I want it done NOW. I don't like waiting on people to give me answers: when something is changed at the last minute and I have to wait on other people for answers, I get frustrated.

2. I don't like the idea of sitting and watching TV if I feel like I have a lot of things I need to get done, but I really don't. Let me explain the scenario.

Its Thursday afternoon, and I worked until 12:30, continued working when I got home, and now I don't really have anything immediate I need to do. I have long term things I could be working on, but they aren't necessary. I am hungry, but it's too early to eat dinner. I could (and might once I'm done with this blog) eat stale Goldfish, drink a Coke Zero, and watch some television, but that doesn't seem satisfying. I keep just literally staring at my computer until I think of something I need to get done. O! Write a dance devotional for tonight! That's what I need to do! ok, I'll get to it. I search through the internet, and nothing sparks my interest, motivation gone. Then I get onto facebook thinking that something will pop up for me to respond to, or something. Fail. Now I'm off to finish my devo, switch the laundry, then maybe eat a snack and nap on the couch.

Does this make sense to you? I feel like I always need to be doing something. Then the second that I do too much, I complain that I don't have enough time for anything. On top of that, in instances like these when I'm just home for a while, I could be vacuuming or deep cleaning, but I'm just not in the mood. Oh brain, why do you never make sense?

3. I try to get together with people and keep up relationships, but most of the time I think I suck at it. Then I think to myself, well, if that person is thinking I suck at it, then why aren't they trying to get together with me and stuff. I feel like the majority of the time its a one way street. Then I get to thinkin, maybe girlfriends hesitate to ask me to hang out because they assume I'll already be with John. WRONG. If a girlfriend asks me to hang out, unless I have something specific planned to do with John, I will pretty much always choose them over John. I have always been pretty good at finding a balance between friends and the boy... but maybe not good enough?

I don't think I've ever blogged a random stream of consciousness. I kinda liked it. Therapeutic I must say.

MADE

I'm watching a MADE episode of this "nerd" (I'm not sure what he's trying to be made into).

He was trying to tell a joke in front of the class, and some other kids were laughing at him, so he flipped out and started cussing like no other and tried to hit the kid and told him to die.

At first, I felt bad for him and figured he has some sort of anger problem. I still do feel bad that they laughed at him. That's not nice.

Then, he was talking to his made coach, and I looked closer at his shirt which had a guitar pic on it and said, "Pick Jesus."

Hmm.... That's my only reaction.

Stickies!

This, my friends is what we call obsessive compulsive Sticky note and Folder organization. It's what keeps my life straight... sorta

I Skurred

I am legitimately scared for this Fall. I am completely confident that I will be able to get through it, but it will be utter insanity.

Personal Jesus Time

16 credit hours

Part Time job

Retreat

Split Youth Group Services

Teaching 3 dance classes

GCN

Choreographing various things (hopefully not too many!)

Friends/Family

Boyfriend

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."

Philippians 4:13

Honestly, when I just typed out that list, I put "Jesus Time" last... Now that's just sad. It was almost an after thought. Truth is, I won't physically be able to do all of this if Jesus isn't the center of it all. Shame shame, Nikki.

C4C

Soo I've started series in Sunday School and Bible Study on Case for the Creator and Case for Christ. They actually mentioned this as someone they would be interested in, which I think most are, but I'm having a little trouble fully teaching it. It's hard because they can't read everything we go over every week because they don't have copies to take home. So I try to summarize it and read sections with them, but it has proven quite difficult to teach. Some get it, some don't, but I guess that's the way it is with pretty much anything you teach. Its definitely harder to keep their attention, but as long as they get the main point, I at least have that. It's pretty cool stuff, just kinda hard to get across. Hmph.

Planning

I know I have 2 years ahead of me and so many other things I should be thinking about, but being the planner that I am, all I want to do is plan a wedding and nest!

Can I just say, I love earth tones?

And of course, blues. Sweet wedding favors. *sigh*

Patience is a virtue.

Bah humbug.

CNU

I miss my CNU buddies, and I sorta miss college life too...

Hardly ever spending money on gas, AKA having everything right there at your finger tips.

A different community of believers where no one knows your baggage.. or anyone else's baggage.. They just want to grow closer to Christ

Trying out new things, failing, succeeding

Meal Plans

New, different people

Friends within tip toeing distance... friends to walk to class with... friends to eat lunch with... friends to check mail with... the list goes on

Working in the mailroom... messing up tons in the mail room... looking at magazines and Dancing with the Stars in the mail room

Seeing great shows at student discount

Not gonna lie, I do miss the Trib Lib.

For those of you going off to college, its a scary, but amazing experience. Enjoy it while you can :)

A Big Loss

So, my parents had to put down one of my dogs yesterday. It was Jessica's white lab who she has raised ever since she was a puppy, 15 years. She has been battling cancer for the past 9 months and fought through every second of it.

My step mom is not taking this lightly. Please keep her in your prayers because I know that our faithful God is the only one who can get her out of this rut.

Luckily tonight I have the chance to stay home with her and keep her mind off of things. She was in hysterics when I got home from work, but since then she has napped and right now is just watching TV with me doing OK.

antm

There's a difference between this...

And THIS....

It's all about the eyes.

Zero Motivation

Now that I'm back from the beach, I frankly, have no motivation to do anything. As a result, I will sit on the couch with my Snuggie and watch America's Next Top Model on Oxygen all day. Perhaps in between commercials I'll work on my talk for Wednesday. That's probably a good idea. Oh, and I have to do laundry. eh...

Here is my Snuggie top model look.

Neighbor Fail

The beach has been awesome except for our entirely too noisy neighbors. Two large families rented condos right between ours. Their doors are quite heavy and they slam them pretty much every 5 minutes (I wish I was exaggerating).

These photo booth pictures display our increase in frustration.

We've just about had it, and its only Tuesday! hahaha